You Must Follow Your Own Path
Weather report from Michigan--can you guess---it's snowing!! Last Friday was probably the worst day weather wise since we moved here. We had rain, ice, snow, high wind, thunder and lightening and then a tornado watch. Then Saturday our high was 7 degrees with wind chill of -15. Burrrrr. Today we should be back up to 22--heat wave! At least we were lucky. Thousands of people on the north side of town still don't have electricity therefore no heat. The powers to be opened up schools for shelters for people without electricity in other parts of the city. The ice broke a lot of trees knocking out electric lines. But as far as snow goes, it is prettier I have come to believe than rain. Rain is gray, nasty and depressing. Snow is white, shiny and dry (at least here).
December it snowed ever day, January temperatures ranged in mid 30's to 40 so most days were filled with rain, rain and more rain, February winter finally set in. Also it seems my migraines have made a reappearance. Yesterday I experienced my third one so far since the beginning of this month. I had one down at Jason's, one when I got back and then I woke up again yesterday with another one. Hopefully, it will be the last one for awhile.
I think I'm internalizing everything again and just sitting by and not telling myself enough is enough. I'm sitting around not resolving things that are bothering me inside. Jonathan and I have that in common. It is easier to stick my head in the sand and pretend things will change. It is up to me to change the things that bother me. To accept it or change it knowing it is my right to fullfill my path in life, whether other people in my life can accept it or not, but knowing I am not short changing my values. Values of knowing what is right for me and what is wrong for me, and not settling because of fear. Fear of loneliness, fear of unacceptance, just fear of failure.
I tell my offspring they have to make their choices in life and live with them. They have to know what they will accept and what they won't accept. At this point, I have given them all that I can give them in knowing they are valuable people not only to me but to other people in this world. They must follow their own path, just as I must finishing making my own journey. I may not like or even approve of some of their decisions or even accept some of them, just as I am sure there are many things about me they don't like or approve of, but I will never stop loving them. We are all human beings with faults who sometimes along the journey lose what is right and valuable to us as human beings. We sometimes misplace what we know is right and wrong. We tell ourselves it doesn't matter because we are not worthy of anything else. As a individual, we all have the right to happiness and peace. As long as we are able to examine our motives in what will make us happy or at peace.
We must never take a back seat in our own lives. This is where I have failed in setting an example. I have always been driven by someone else while I sit in the back seat waiting for decisions to be made about my life. I have stuck my head in the sand waiting to be told how to live my life, thinking I am incapable of making any correct decisions or having any original thought or feeling I am worthy of living my life for me. I blame no one but me. These were the choices I made. Now I live with the circumstances. The circumstance of not setting an example of self strenth and self worth to my kids. I have failed them because I have never had any self worth. This is the cycle that has to be broken. It is too late for me, but they still have time to learn their self worth and to follow a different path than I followed.
Live your life for yourself. First examine what your values are. Know what is right and wrong for you. Know what you will accept and what you can't accept. Hold pride in who you are. Find the positive parts of yourself and shout them to yourself and the world. Know your self worth is as valuable as anyone elses. Put that value on it. Value yourself first. Be kind to yourself and look in the mirror and say I love you each morning to yourself. Know you are a valuable part of everyones lives that you touch. NEVER allow anyone to steal your value from you. NEVER give it away. NEVER throw it away on your own.
"A life not worth examining, is a life not worth living" Examine it each day and live it for you.
December it snowed ever day, January temperatures ranged in mid 30's to 40 so most days were filled with rain, rain and more rain, February winter finally set in. Also it seems my migraines have made a reappearance. Yesterday I experienced my third one so far since the beginning of this month. I had one down at Jason's, one when I got back and then I woke up again yesterday with another one. Hopefully, it will be the last one for awhile.
I think I'm internalizing everything again and just sitting by and not telling myself enough is enough. I'm sitting around not resolving things that are bothering me inside. Jonathan and I have that in common. It is easier to stick my head in the sand and pretend things will change. It is up to me to change the things that bother me. To accept it or change it knowing it is my right to fullfill my path in life, whether other people in my life can accept it or not, but knowing I am not short changing my values. Values of knowing what is right for me and what is wrong for me, and not settling because of fear. Fear of loneliness, fear of unacceptance, just fear of failure.
I tell my offspring they have to make their choices in life and live with them. They have to know what they will accept and what they won't accept. At this point, I have given them all that I can give them in knowing they are valuable people not only to me but to other people in this world. They must follow their own path, just as I must finishing making my own journey. I may not like or even approve of some of their decisions or even accept some of them, just as I am sure there are many things about me they don't like or approve of, but I will never stop loving them. We are all human beings with faults who sometimes along the journey lose what is right and valuable to us as human beings. We sometimes misplace what we know is right and wrong. We tell ourselves it doesn't matter because we are not worthy of anything else. As a individual, we all have the right to happiness and peace. As long as we are able to examine our motives in what will make us happy or at peace.
We must never take a back seat in our own lives. This is where I have failed in setting an example. I have always been driven by someone else while I sit in the back seat waiting for decisions to be made about my life. I have stuck my head in the sand waiting to be told how to live my life, thinking I am incapable of making any correct decisions or having any original thought or feeling I am worthy of living my life for me. I blame no one but me. These were the choices I made. Now I live with the circumstances. The circumstance of not setting an example of self strenth and self worth to my kids. I have failed them because I have never had any self worth. This is the cycle that has to be broken. It is too late for me, but they still have time to learn their self worth and to follow a different path than I followed.
Live your life for yourself. First examine what your values are. Know what is right and wrong for you. Know what you will accept and what you can't accept. Hold pride in who you are. Find the positive parts of yourself and shout them to yourself and the world. Know your self worth is as valuable as anyone elses. Put that value on it. Value yourself first. Be kind to yourself and look in the mirror and say I love you each morning to yourself. Know you are a valuable part of everyones lives that you touch. NEVER allow anyone to steal your value from you. NEVER give it away. NEVER throw it away on your own.
"A life not worth examining, is a life not worth living" Examine it each day and live it for you.
posted by Dondra Shroyer at 9:11 AM
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